He can tell the date is going terribly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She neatly cuts her steak, exposing a cross-section of the shockingly pink meat. It\u2019s a hot day. They should have eaten inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo you work for an animal rights organization.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes,\u201d he replies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd my work involves experimenting on animals.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat seems about the size of it.\u201d The vegetarian bolognese is congealing around his fork. He can\u2019t seem to get his appetite up. \u201cWhat exactly do you do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe it\u2019s something academic. Pushing paper around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She sips her drink, lips scarlet with cayenne. \u201cDraize testing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He puts his fork down. \u201cYou\u2019re telling me that when you finish that Bloody Mary, you\u2019re going to walk into that building across the street and pour chemicals into the eyes of a defenseless little animal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe small ones are easier to restrain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow can you live with yourself?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her tight face doesn\u2019t unravel, but a little color suffuses the bridge of her nose. She pushes her glasses up. \u201cI see your rhetoric is as original as your personal ad.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He feels excruciating embarrassment. \u201cI\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why don\u2019t you put your money where your mouth is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI donate to charity\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou have your guilt changed like oil.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m aware of the limitations, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBillions of dollars are riding on these products. If I don\u2019t do it, they\u2019ll find someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou make it sound so hopeless.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, there is one way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSorry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA way to give the rabbits a little more R&R and a little less R&D.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf I found a different test subject, I could mark my report as complete.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat do you mean, a different test subject?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat I mean is, cut out the middle mammal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHuman experimentation?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s barbaric.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBarbarism is inevitable. But unlike animals, a human can consent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, that\u2019s illegal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn a formal setting, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re confusing me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t we go back to my place for drinks? You can take yours ocularly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re having fun at my expense.\u201d He pushes his chair back to stand up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She speaks so sharply that he freezes. \u201cYou want your shampoos, your lotions, your creams, and all the other conveniences of modern society, but you can\u2019t handle a little friction along the way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not fair.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going to sit here and evangelize the grand project of Western civilization. But regardless of how we feel about it, millions of people will use these products through sheer ubiquity. Tired mothers grabbing the brightest bottle off the shelf. Wide-eyed children submitting to a rinse. These things will flow into their lives without choice, without conscious thought. And the money demands that certain forms be checked off so they can enter the marketplace. And you decide what happens before I check off the forms under my supervision.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sits there, her words blending with the greasy pasta in his stomach. \u201cAre you really serious?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt would be much more efficient. And safer for people. In the end.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSafer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you have a nictitating membrane?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot last I checked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen the test will be much more accurate. Rabbits cry differently.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPeople always said I was skittish like a rabbit. In school.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere you have it, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He wrings the napkin in his lap. \u201cIt\u2019s just so sad. They\u2019re voting on a bill right now. A bill to end the suffering. But those labs. Your lab. Will be going until the last second. It\u2019s like, I don\u2019t know, getting shot by a sniper at the end of the war.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe the bunnies will get a statue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThey certainly deserve one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She laughs. \u201cYou should have ordered a cocktail.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t drink.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSome people need it for their personality.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not a good date. But you could be an excellent test subject.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t pretend quality was ever a consideration. Rabbits are just cheap and easy to control.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI should really go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She pins him with her eyes. \u201cI\u2019ve found an ingenious little loophole for you and you\u2019re running with your tail tucked between your legs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just insane.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou tell me I\u2019m a monster, but when the time comes for you to operate in the real world, when you\u2019re confronted with a rare opportunity to actually affect your surroundings, suddenly you want to go back to dropping quarters in the ice cream shop donations jar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWould it even work? Wouldn\u2019t you get in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be my first time fudging paperwork. As long as the results are accurate, my reputation is sterling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The shadow of the Zhyber Valhalla lab has grown since they began their meal, creeping up the sidewalk toward him. He shivers preemptively. \u201cIt seems unrealistic to draw a causal link between my suffering and a rabbit being saved.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe have one product left to test. It will be tested on white rabbits, New Zealand white rabbits, in their numbered cages, rabbits I see every day. If it is not tested on those rabbits, they will have a reprieve. If the bill passes this weekend, it could be a most instrumental reprieve.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He shakes his head. \u201cI just don\u2019t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s hardly an unassailable logic, but I\u2019m not sure you\u2019re the one to assail it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He flags the waiter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She leans in. \u201cYou had an experience with animals, didn\u2019t you? Something personal. You know what it looks like when they\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The waiter arrives. He pulls out his wallet, then looks up to see her card already on the table. \u201cMy treat,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2726<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her house is anonymous and suburban, a pixel of HOA lawn. A modest one-story. He was expecting a larger house from the way she dressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She squeezes the glass dropper and fluid shoots up inside it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat is that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s better if I don\u2019t tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think I should know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUnlike a rabbit, you can psyche yourself out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He goes silent for a few minutes. \u201cWas I\u2014was it really a bad date?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She shrugs. \u201cYou\u2019re not an incredible conversationalist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think I\u2019m going to be sick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She stares over her glasses at him. \u201cI need you to have a neutral reaction to what I spill in your eye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll try to maintain my um, critical objectivity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI thought hippies were supposed to enjoy acid.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He jerks back, almost falling out of his chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRelax. I was only joking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The clear liquid is invisible inside the glass dropper, betrayed only by a tiny air bubble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cErr.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat if I lose my vision?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t worry. It\u2019s only a single-blind study.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His eyelashes beat defensively. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something like a laugh scratches her throat. \u201cIt won\u2019t be both eyes. We\u2019ll leave the contralateral eye as a matched control.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut is it dangerous?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBased on the family of chemical, I don\u2019t foresee permanent damage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just a very primal thing. Having one\u2019s eyes threatened.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes.\u201d The dropper floats above his face. \u201cLeft or right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He doesn\u2019t know what to say. His mouth is dry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, it\u2019s not as important as your left and right hand. But 70{696c27d1b13f7f4841b211aef0d4f3678b346ee346289d00feeff4e4fdaa2a56} of the population has a dominant right eye. So I\u2019ll do your left.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHmm?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI mean. Yes. Alright.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHold still. This really doesn\u2019t work unless you\u2019re docile. Like a rabbit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes. It\u2019s just. These are my eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She looks down at his big brown irises. \u201cYes, they are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His eye is on fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He screams, then catches himself, the quiet suburban surroundings coming back into focus, then he has to make a sound again, so he whimpers, clutching the table. And then he realizes the sensation isn\u2019t stopping, and\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2726<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her fountain pen scrapes at the paper. \u201cA bit of swelling. 2 on the chemosis scale.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A moan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThink of the rabbits.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCan\u2019t think.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCopious amounts of lacrimation. Possibly due to subject\u2019s emotional failings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He writhes in his chair like a salted slug. \u201cWhen? When?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll examine in one hour. Then you\u2019ll get your rinse. But I\u2019ll have to check again in 24-hour increments.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFuck.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat kind of language seems unnecessary in a clinical setting.\u201d She puts a TV dinner in her faux-wood paneled microwave, something starchy, meaty, and German.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He gropes for his car keys, knocking them off the table with his lack of depth perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDriving seems unsafe, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looks at her through an eye blurring with tears. \u201cI s-suppose so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou can sleep here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou see that my living room has a couch, do you not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m used to sleeping a certain way. I have an ergonomic pillow\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf an animal can sleep in a cage, I think you can sleep on a couch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou have a misanthropic streak.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI have all kinds of streaks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe pain is really bad. You need to flush this out of my eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou went through all this and you want to botch the results? Waste of an afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2726<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She reads a mystery novel, picking at the last scrap of her TV dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHhh, how long has it been?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She checks her rectangular wristwatch. \u201cJust a little longer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His foot thumps uncontrollably on the floor. He\u2019s going to bolt right across that pristine astroturfed lawn. Then her hand is on his arm, a vanishing, clinical touch, and they\u2019re in the bathroom and it smells like potpourri and disinfectant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She runs the bath, checking the temperature periodically. Then she touches the back of his neck, startling him with her wet finger. He sinks down, the tile floor hard on his knees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGet your head under there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, um\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The stream hits his eye and he gasps, almost falling into the tub. Water runs into his mouth and he spits it out, coughing and crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCan I\u2014can I still see?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think you might be the best judge of that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He blinks rapidly. \u201cI think so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt never ceases to amaze me, the things you find it possible to equivocate on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The fire drains from his eye, soothed by cool water. His brown hair has a dark wet streak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow do you feel?\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looks up with his oozing red eye, teeth chattering, a strand of hair coming loose and dangling over the contaminated water.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2726<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The evening light is suffocatingly rich in the kitchen, all color replaced by burning orange.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He holds a can of sparkling water to his head, numbing the pain in his socket. Papers on the table attract his other eye. He flips through, bored. Receipts for such things as: Metal grid. Electric parts. Audio speaker. Panels of glass and metal. He finds schematics underneath, for wired surfaces and enclosed spaces, harsh angles without beauty. Skinner box. Pit of despair. He doesn\u2019t recognize the other structures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The basement door opens silently, well-oiled and perfectly fitted to its frame. \u201cThere you are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh. I was just.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know, it\u2019s a funny thing. With the housing market how it is, even a Skinner box can beat the average apartment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow do you figure?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFour square walls. Regular meals. Radiant floor heating.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLucky rats.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She ignores him and opens the refrigerator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He steps on the pedal of the trash bin, about to throw away his empty can, then thinks to look for recycling. His vision is still irritated and watery, but he can make out newspapers, clippings of hair, a bottle of Cabernet. Of course, he thinks. She doesn\u2019t recycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCan you come with me for a moment?\u201d She stands behind him with a can of cold-brew coffee. Her nail picks at the tab, a metallic sound that gets in his teeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCome where?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She goes to the basement door. \u201cThere\u2019s something I want you to take a look at.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs there a recycling bin?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t need to worry about that.\u201d She has a dry look that cows him, like he\u2019s wasting her time on something routine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His eye is sore. He covers it, and wet lashes tickle his palm. He follows the blur of her down the stairs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
He can tell the date is going terribly. She neatly cuts her steak, exposing a cross-section of the shockingly pink meat. It\u2019s a hot day. They should have eaten inside. \u201cSo you work for an animal rights organization.\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d he replies. \u201cAnd my work involves experimenting on animals.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4120"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4120\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4122,"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4120\/revisions\/4122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xrafstar.monster\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}