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they squirt you down with ketchup from industrial hoses\n\n"the ketchup will hide the blood"\n\nyou take the last remaining weapon, a whip, and enter the arena\n\n<<if $dress eq "black">>you're feeling sadistic today.\n\nyou whirl the whip with a deafening crack, knocking one of your opponents into a creme pit. the screams are horrifying\n\ntwo come up behind you with paring daggers and flambe flails\n\nCRACKOW\n\nknockout!\n\n++<<set $power = $power + 2>><<set $mood = "feeling sadistic & queenly as ketchup drips from your body">>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]\n<<else>>you lash at your opponents\n\ntheir food-honed reflexes outwit you\n\nyou are filled with skewers, burnt with flambe, finally knocked out\n\n[[CRAWL HOME|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<set $mood = "covered in ketchup and crying">><<endif>>

<<if $weather eq "piss storm">><<set $crops = $crops - 1>><<endif>><<if $weather eq "sentient smog cloud">><<set $crops = $crops - 1>><<endif>>

Everyone can absorb princess power if they focus!\n\nYour body can absorb up to 7 princess power.\n\n[[OK|MANUAL]]

<<set $mood = "gorged on cloudberry pie, ahhhh">><<if $dress eq "pink">>you frolic through the meadows in your pink dress, bow flapping up and down\n\nyou absorb sparkles from the puffy ground\n\n+<<set $power = $power + 1>><<set $mood = "glittering with sparkles & smeared with cloudmud">><<endif>>\n\nyou come to a banquet of cloudberry pies\n\nomnomnomnomnomnom\n\n+<<set $power = $power + 1>>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<endif>>

<<display "STATUS">>\n<<display "MONSTERS">>\n<<display "ACTION">>

Princess Murder gets the Queenstone\n\nshe's evolving into a Queen!\n\nshe's an evil Queen! she curses everything and also kills everything!\n\neverything is skeletons! even things without bones!\n\n[[GAME OVER|TruStart]]

you stride past the gurgling bodies of punched-up princesses\n\ntriumphantly you disembark from your veggie battle golem and your vegetables go to heaven or whatever "thank you veggies~"\n\nthe Queenstone floats across the plant-blood spattered fields and you feel its regal touch electrify your body!\n\nWHOOOOOOOOOOO\n\nOOOOOOOOOOOOO\n\nOOOOOOOOOOOOO\n\nyou transform into a Queen!\n\nyou get a cool palace in every single zone and you travel around in an airship made of gold and diamonds and you get tons of powerful jewelry that gives you mastery of spells\n\nlike a ring that shoots ice or an amulet that lets you float around like a freakin goofball\n\nYOU HAVE BEATEN BLOODY PRINCESS FARMER WITH <<print $crops>> CROPS\n\nYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

History.prototype.originalDisplay = History.prototype.display;\n\nHistory.prototype.display = function (title, link, render)\n{\n if ((render != 'quietly') && (render != 'offscreen'))\n removeChildren($('passages'));\n \n this.originalDisplay.apply(this, arguments);\n};\n

YOU BLAST EM WITH PRINCESS POWER\n\nthe <<print $monstertype>> are scattered and their blood waters your fields!<<set $crops = $crops + $monsterpower/2>><<set $power = $power - $monsterpower>>\n\n[[WHOOP|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<display "randmonster">><<set $monsterdistance = $monsterdistance + 1>>

GREAT CHOICE<<set $dress = "naked">>\n\n[[THANK YOU|HOUSE]]

<<display "TruStart">>

GREAT CHOICE<<set $dress = "black">>\n\n[[THANK YOU|HOUSE]]

you wade in the water\n\nit chills your body but not your soul\n\nyou feel a little more redeemed\n\n+<<set $power = $power + 1>><<set $mood = "feeling holy">>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]

dust everywhere, cactuses spitting fire at people\n\nlots of screaming. why would anyone come here?\n\na crystal pyramid shines through the howling sandstorm\n\n[[ENTER CRYSTAL PYRAMID|PYRAMID]]\n\n[[RETURN|HUB]]

<<set $r = Math.round(Math.random() * 5)>><<set $weather eq "blood rain">><<endif>><<if $r eq 1>><<set $weather eq "crystal blizzard">><<endif>><<if $r eq 2>><<set $weather eq "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 3>><<set $weather eq "estrogen mists">><<endif>><<if $r eq 4>><<set $weather eq "piss storm">><<endif>><<if $r eq 5>><<set $weather eq "sentient smog cloud">><<endif>>

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DEAD\n+\n+\n\nICE\n(armor)++\n\nDESERT\n(naked)++\n\nCLOUD\n(black)++\n(pink)+/+\n\nJUNGLE\n+++ or -/higher chance with (white)\n\n

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""""""""""""""""""[|]""""""""""""""""""""""""\n"""""" [[PRINCESS FARM ZONE|FARM]] """"""\n""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""\n\nUUUuUUUuUUuUUUUUUUuUUUuUUuUUUU \nUUUuuUUuUUUUUUU<<if $r2 eq 0>>uUUUuuUUuU<<else>> [[DEAD PRINCESS SWAMP ZONE|DEAD]] <<endif>>UUUuUUUuUUuUUUU\nUUUuUUUuUUuUUUUUUUuUUUuUUuUUUU\n\n^VV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V<<if $r2 eq 1>>V^V^V^V^V^V^V<<else>> [[INDUSTRIAL ICE ZONE|ICE]] <<endif>> ^VV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V\n\n.....................^.......................^.......................<<if $r2 eq 2>>.......^.......<<else>> [[CRYSTAL AGONY DESERT ZONE|DESERT]] <<endif>>..................^.............................^....................\n\nOOOOooooOOoooOoooOOOOOo\nOoOoo<<if $r2 eq 3>>ooooOOoooOo<<else>> [[GOURMET CLOUD ZONE|CLOUD]] <<endif>>ooOoo\noOOoooOOOooooooooooooOO\n\nTTttTTTttTtTTTttTTTttTtTTTttTTTttTtT\nTTttTTTttTtT<<if $r2 eq 4>>TTttTTtTTtTTT<<else>> [[FUTURE CRIMES JUNGLE ZONE|JUNGLE]] <<endif>>TTTTTttTTTttTTTTTtttTTTtTTTT\nTTttTTTttTtTTTttTTTttTtTTTttTTTttTtTTTttTTTttTtT

''IF THE SAME WEATHER LASTS LONGER THAN ONE DAY''\nYOU MUST SAY SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "HOW LONG IS THIS GODDAMN/GOLDURN/DANG/DURN/DAMN/FREAKIN PUFFED UP [WEATHER NAME] GOING TO LAST?"\n\n''WHEN YOU FIGHT MONSTERS''\nYOU MUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE "THEY'LL NEVER TAKE MY FARM/GET THEIR DIRTY HANDS ON MY FARM/OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU GODDAMN [WHATEVER]" OR SOME OTHER TOUGH THING\n\n''WHEN YOU ABSORB AT LEAST TWO PRINCESS POWER''\nSAY "PRINCESS POWER YEAH!!!" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT\n\n''MASTER RULE''\nMAKE UP YOUR OWN LINES\n\nI SWEAR THIS PRINCESS FARMER OAT

<<if $weather eq "estrogen mists">><<set $crops = $crops + 3>><<endif>><<if $weather eq "piss storm">><<set $crops = $crops - 1>><<endif>><<if $weather eq "slime showers">><<set $crops = $crops + 1>><<endif>><<if $weather eq "sentient smog cloud">><<set $crops = $crops - 1>><<endif>>

GREAT CHOICE<<set $dress = "armor">>\n\n[[THANK YOU|HOUSE]]

weather has its effect when the day ends\n\nestrogen mists: crops grow 3x as fast\n\nslime showers: just your average weather\n\npiss storm: -1 crops\nsentient smog cloud: -1 crops\n\n[[OKAY|BOOK]]

a tribe of cars is racing through the jungle on looping dirt roads\n\nthey do this every day\n\na shadowy cabal of carnivorous plants places bets on the outcome\n\n[[GAMBLE ON JUNGLE CARS|GAMBLE]]\n\na fertility temple rises above the trees\n\nspooky statues regard you with their emerald eyes\n\n[[ENTER FERTILITY TEMPLE|TEMPLE]]\n\n[[RETURN|HUB]]

<<set $r = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $r eq 0>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 1>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 2>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 3>><<set $weather = "estrogen mists">><<endif>><<if $r eq 4>><<set $weather = "piss storm">><<endif>><<if $r eq 5>><<set $weather = "sentient smog cloud">><<endif>><<if $r eq 6>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<set $r2 = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>

Bloody Princess Farmer

If this is your first game, read your bookshelf!\n\nRemember the princess code!\n\nBalance farming and murder to achieve your goals!\n\n[[GOT IT|TruStart]]

This continent is full of monsters! Monsters love food!\n\nYou need Princess Power equal to their strength to defeat them!\n\n[[OK|MANUAL]]

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''<<print $weather>> | DAY (<<print $day>>)\nCROPS (<<if $crops lt 1>><<set $crops = 0>><<endif>><<print $crops>>) | PRINCESS POWER <<if $power gt 7>><<set $power = 7>><<endif>><<if $power lt 0>><<set $power = 0>><<endif>><<if $power eq 0>><<endif>><<if $power eq 1>>+<<endif>><<if $power eq 2>>++<<endif>><<if $power eq 3>>+++<<endif>><<if $power eq 4>>++++<<endif>><<if $power eq 5>>+++++<<endif>><<if $power eq 6>>++++++<<endif>><<if $power gte 7>>+++++++<<endif>>''

<<if $power lt 1>>you have no princess power to gamble with!\n\n[[OH|HUB]]<<else>><<set $r = Math.round(Math.random() * 5)>><<if $dress eq "white">>you feel lucky today! you do a pretty twirl\n\n<<set $r = $r + 2>><<endif>>you pick the coolest car you can find. some of your princess power turns into betting chips of pure energy\n\n<<if $r gt 3>>your car zooms in first place! the carnivorous plants boo but begrudgingly give up some of their power\n\nyou convert their jungle plant power to princess power!\n\n+++<<set $power = $power + 3>><<set $mood = "jubilant with car-savvy moxy">>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<else>><<if $r lte 1>>your car hits a giant toad and is swallowed!<<else>>suddenly a huge bird swoops down and carries your car away!<<endif>>\n\nthe carnivorous plants gurgle greedily and take your chips\n\n-<<set $power = $power - 1>><<set $mood = "crushed by racetrack defeat">>\n\n[[WEEP|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<endif>><<endif>>

<<display "weathereffect">><<display "randweather">><<set $day = $day + 1>><<set $monsterdistance = $monsterdistance - 1>><<display "STATUS">>\n<<display "MONSTERS">>\n<<display "ACTION">>

you arrive at the Trans-Continental Princess Farm Festival Showdown!\n\nall the other princesses are here looking badass and ready to fuck shit up\n\nyou spit, rub your hands, and summon all your crops into a fuckin spiraling vortex!\n\nthe vortex sucks you up and you start to transform in an explosion of vegetal sparks!\n\nthe earth shakes as all the princess vegetable mechs do battle\n\n[[CHAAAAAAAAAARGE|BATTLE]]

they talk of gospel and grave matters\n\nyou buy a necro shard talisman from their general store crypt\n\n+<<set $power = $power + 1>><<set $mood = "resurrecting houseplants with a creepy talisman">>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]

it's fucking cold\n\n<<if $dress neq "armor">>rocks keep falling from sky generators\n\nOW OW OW\n\n[[CRAWL HOME BLEEDING|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<else>>rocks bounce off your armor\n\nyou see many ice factories here\n\n[[TOUR ICE FACTORY|TOUR]]\n\n[[RETURN|HUB]]\n<<endif>>

''""""""""""""''\n\n<<if $day lte 30>>[[ENTER HOUSE|HOUSE]] ''|'' [[WATER CROPS|FARM-WATER]] ''|'' [[EXPLORE|HUB]]<<else>>[[HEAD TO TRANS-CONTINENTAL PRINCESS FARM SHOWDOWN FESTIVAL|SHOWDOWN]]<<endif>>\n\n''""""""""""""''

<<if $dress neq "naked">>the pyramid blasts lasers at your impure form\n\n[[RUN!!!|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<set $mood = "covered in laser burns">><<else>>you glide through the glowing pyramid\n\nyou gain crystal wisdom at its heart\n\n++<<set $power = $power + 2>><<set $mood = "levitating in a crystal trance">>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]<<endif>>

swamp-drowned cemetery\n\ndead princesses live here\n\nfloating downstream on coffin canoes\n\n[[CONVERSATE]]\n\n[[WADE IN THE WATER|WADE]]\n\n[[RETURN|HUB]]

[[pretty white lace dress with frills (+2 demure, +3 luck)|WHITE]]\n\n[[spiky black latex dress (+4 sadism)|BLACK]]\n\n[[flowery pink dress with bows (+3 cute, +3 frolic)|PINK]]\n\n[[armor dress with gem barbs (+2 magic resist, +3 armor)|ARMOR]]\n\n[[naked except for sculpted crystal aura (+4 shimmering)|NAKED]]

GREAT CHOICE<<set $dress = "white">>\n\n[[THANK YOU|HOUSE]]

''IF THE SAME WEATHER LASTS LONGER THAN ONE DAY''\nYOU MUST SAY SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "HOW LONG IS THIS GODDAMN/GOLDURN/DANG/DURN/DAMN/FREAKIN PUFFED UP [WEATHER NAME] GOING TO LAST?"\n\n''WHEN YOU FIGHT MONSTERS''\nYOU MUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE "THEY'LL NEVER TAKE MY FARM/GET THEIR DIRTY HANDS ON MY FARM/OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU GODDAMN [WHATEVER]" OR SOME OTHER TOUGH THING\n\n''WHEN YOU ENTER A ZONE FOR THE FIRST TIME''\nSAY "HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THESE [WHATEVER]" OR "DIDN'T THINK THEY MADE [WHATEVER] IN THAT SIZE" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT\n\n''WHEN YOU ABSORB AT LEAST TWO PRINCESS POWER''\nSAY "PRINCESS POWER YEAH!!!" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT\n\n''MASTER RULE''\nMAKE UP YOUR OWN LINES\n\n[[I SWEAR THIS PRINCESS FARMER OATH|TruStart]]

\n\nGROW CROPS BY X DAYS\n\nGET POWER TO DEFEAT MONSTERS\n\n\n\n<<if $power eq 0>><<endif>><<if $power eq 1>>+-----<<endif>><<if $power eq 2>>++----<<endif>><<if $power eq 3>>+++---<<endif>><<if $power eq 4>>++++--<<endif>><<if $power eq 5>>+++++-<<endif>><<if $power eq 6>>++++++<<endif>>\n\n\n<<if $crops lte 0>>[[<<endif>><<if $day gte 30>><<if $crops gte 20>>[[HEAD TO TRANS-CONTINENTAL PRINCESS FARM SHOWDOWN FESTIVAL|SHOWDOWN]]<<else>>LOSE<<endif>><<endif>>

GREAT CHOICE<<set $dress = "pink">>\n\n[[THANK YOU|HOUSE]]

princess farmer\n\nwater crops with blood\n\n7B3652

stratocumulus farmland, nimbus mills\n\nclouds covered in restaurants and cafes\n\nup ahead\n\nwarrior-chefs are battling in the culinary arena\n\n[[FIGHT IN THE ARENA|ARENA]]\n\na puffy meadow over there\n\n[[CLOUD MEADOW|MEADOW]]\n\n[[RETURN|HUB]]

They say the princess with the best farm will triumph!\n\nAnd the prize? A Queenstone of tremendous power, said to evolve Princesses into Queens!\n\n[[OK|MANUAL]]

You are <<if $dress eq "white">>wearing a pretty white lace dress with frills<<endif>><<if $dress eq "black">>wearing a spiky black latex dress<<endif>><<if $dress eq "pink">>wearing a flowery pink dress with bows<<endif>><<if $dress eq "armor">>wearing an armor dress with gem barbs<<endif>><<if $dress eq "naked">>naked except for sculpted crystal aura<<endif>>.\nYou're <<print $mood>>.\n\n[[WARDROBE]]\n\n[[BOOKSHELF|BOOK]]\n\n[[GO OUTSIDE|FARM]]

Heavy Metal Pokemon Fantasy\n\nyou pick pokemon to add to team and then attack with them? easy way to do basic pokemon stuff?\n\n\nCybernetic Wrestling Offensive\n\n\nRural Mall Underworld\n\n\nTIMER BASED? LIKE YOU JUST STAND IN FRONT OF YOUR COMP AND DO THINGS?\n\nGrand Cooking Colosseum\n\n\nInfinite Princess Fiasco\n\n\nBloody Princess Farmer\n dont' starve\n use power wisely\n defeat monsters

<<set $r = Math.round(Math.random() * 5)>>\n<<if $r eq 0>><<set $monstertype = "sexy harpies">><<set $monsterpower = "2">><<set $monstericon = "hh">><<endif>><<if $r eq 1>><<set $monstertype = "lamia queen & her hypno-slaves">><<set $monsterpower = "6">><<set $monstericon = "&zz">><<endif>><<if $r eq 2>><<set $monstertype = "slimegirl bandits">><<set $monstericon = "ss">><<set $monsterpower = "2">><<endif>><<if $r eq 3>><<set $monstertype = "zombie puffballs">><<set $monstericon = "ooo">><<set $monsterpower = "2">><<endif>><<if $r eq 4>><<set $monstertype = "sentient murder ponds">><<set $monstericon = "OOO">><<set $monsterpower = "4">><<endif>><<if $r eq 5>><<set $monstertype = "acid-puking rollerderby babes">><<set $monstericon = "bbb">><<set $monsterpower = "2">><<endif>><<set $monsterdistance = 2 + Math.round(Math.random() * 5)>>

GROW CROPS TO COMPETE IN THE [[TRANS-CONTINENTAL PRINCESS FARM FESTIVAL SHOWDOWN|FESTIVAL]]. WISE WOMEN SAY YOU NEED AT LEAST 20 CROPS TO BE A CONTENDER.\n\n''WATERING CROPS'' GROWS 1 CROP AND ENDS YOUR DAY\n\n[[MONSTERS|MONSTERSSS]] ARE CONSTANTLY APPROACHING YOUR FARM\nUSE [[PRINCESS POWER]] TO ''FIGHT'' MONSTERS\nKILLING MONSTERS GROWS CROPS EQUAL TO HALF THE MONSTERS POWER\n\n''EXPLORING'' GIVES YOU PRINCESS POWER AND ENDS YOUR DAY\n\n[[BACK|BOOK]]

<<if $power gte 7>>\nyou vomit all your power onto the altar\n\nthe fertility goddess looks pleased. she licks her stone lips, then blasts beams of verdant light from her breastgems\n\nthe beams arc through the ruined temple, over the treeline, and in the direction of your farm<<set $crops = $crops + 6>><<set $power = $power - 7>>\n\n[[WHOO|FARM-EXPLORE]]\n<<else>>\nthe fertility goddess, an idol draped in vines, with green gems for eyes and nipples, overlooking a runed altar\n\nshe booms "ONLY A SACRIFICE OF MAXIMUM POWER WILL SATISFY ME"\n\n[[AWW|JUNGLE]]\n<<endif>>

by [[porpentine|http://slimedaughter.com/]] for [[BIG CHAOS TWINE JAM|http://slimedaughter.com/?p=3978]]\n\nusing [[video game name generator|http://videogamena.me/]] for title\n\n[[COOL|TruStart]]

a snow harpy guides you through a ice factory\n\n"here are the cold hearts"\n\n"here are the certitude vats"\n\n"they generate ice"\n\nmassive blocks slam onto conveyor belts, away from vaporous blue hearts toward the icy wasteland\n\nyou shiver\n\n++<<set $power = $power + 2>><<set $mood = "warming yourself by the fire as ice melts from your hair">>\n\n[[RETURN TO FARM|FARM-EXPLORE]]

[[FARM PRINCESS OATH|OATH]]\n\n[[SURVIVAL GUIDE|MANUAL]]\n\n[[ALMANAC|WEATHER]]\n\n[[BACK|HOUSE]]

<<if $crops lte 0>>you have no crops\n\nthe other princesses all laugh at you. you run away crying and fall in the mud and get bitten by worms, argh!\n\n[[YOU LOSE|TruStart]]<<endif>><<if $crops lt 20>>\nyou transform into a wilted construct that stumbles around spurting vegepus\n\nit crumbles\n\nyou are shamed\n\n[[YOU LOSE|TruStart]]<<endif>><<if ($crops gte 20) and ($crops lt 25)>>\nyou transform into a pretty cool vegemech\n\nyou punch a lot of princess golems\n\nyou get wounded by Princess Crow's bird horde\n\nyou absorb more crops and beat up nearly everyone\n\nit comes down to you and Princess Murder. she beats the shit out of you but at least you got that far\n\n[[SECOND PLACE]]<<endif>><<if $crops gte 25>>\nyou transform into an ultimate vegemech! you have so many crops that a bunch of them swirl around you, shielding you from harm!\n\nyou absorb a bunch of bird and salt attacks from Princess Crow and Princess Beach\n\nyou kick a lot of princesses so hard their veggies pop\n\nPrincess Murder tries to sneak up on you, but you spin around and blast her with a beam of princess energy focused through potato lenses in your veggie fist!\n\n[[FIRST PLACE]]<<endif>>

[[NEW GAME|FARM]]\n\n[[THE PRINCESS OATH|OATH0]]\n\n[[CREDITS]]\n<<set $dress = "pink">><<set $day = 1>><<set $crops = 1>><<set $power = 4>><<set $mood = "full of princess pluck">><<set $monsterdistance = 4>><<set $monstertype = "x">><<set $monsterpower = "1">><<display "randmonster">><<set $r = Math.round(Math.random() * 5)>><<if $r eq 0>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 1>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 2>><<set $weather = "slime showers">><<endif>><<if $r eq 3>><<set $weather = "estrogen mists">><<endif>><<if $r eq 4>><<set $weather = "piss storm">><<endif>><<if $r eq 5>><<set $weather = "sentient smog cloud">><<endif>><<set $r2 = Math.round(Math.random() * 3)>>

<<if $day gte 30>>[[HEAD TO TRANS-CONTINENTAL PRINCESS FARM FESTIVAL SHOWDOWN|SHOWDOWN]]<<endif>>

porpentine

''IF THE SAME WEATHER LASTS LONGER THAN ONE DAY''\nYOU MUST SAY SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "HOW LONG IS THIS GODDAMN/GOLDURN/DANG/DURN/DAMN/FREAKIN PUFFED UP [WEATHER NAME] GOING TO LAST?"\n\n''WHEN YOU FIGHT MONSTERS''\nYOU MUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE "THEY'LL NEVER TAKE MY FARM/GET THEIR DIRTY HANDS ON MY FARM/OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU GODDAMN [WHATEVER]" OR SOME OTHER TOUGH THING\n\n''WHEN YOU ENTER A ZONE FOR THE FIRST TIME''\nSAY "HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THESE [WHATEVER]" OR "DIDN'T THINK THEY MADE [WHATEVER] IN THAT SIZE" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT\n\n''WHEN YOU ABSORB AT LEAST TWO PRINCESS POWER''\nSAY "PRINCESS POWER YEAH!!!" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT\n\n''MASTER RULE''\nMAKE UP YOUR OWN LINES\n\n[[I SWEAR THIS PRINCESS FARMER OATH|BOOK]]

\n''<<if $day lte 30>><<if $monsterdistance gt 0>><<print $monstertype>> | <<print $monsterdistance>> <<if $monsterdistance gt 1>>days<<else>>day<<endif>> away | strength <<print $monsterpower>><<endif>>\n<<if $monsterdistance eq 1>>{<<print $monstericon>>} o o o o o<<endif>><<if $monsterdistance eq 2>>o {<<print $monstericon>>} o o o o o<<endif>><<if $monsterdistance eq 3>>o o {<<print $monstericon>>} o o o o<<endif>><<if $monsterdistance eq 4>>o o o {<<print $monstericon>>} o o o<<endif>><<if $monsterdistance eq 5>>o o o o {<<print $monstericon>>} o o<<endif>><<if $monsterdistance eq 6>>o o o o o {<<print $monstericon>>} o<<endif>><<if $monsterdistance eq 7>>o o o o o o {<<print $monstericon>>}<<endif>>''\n<<if $monsterdistance gt 0>><<if $power gte $monsterpower>>[[FIGHT]]<<endif>><<else>>the <<print $monstertype>> fuck up your crops! you lose <<print $monsterpower>> crops!<<set $crops = $crops - $monsterpower>><<display "randmonster">><<set $monsterdistance = $monsterdistance + 1>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<display "badweatheronly">><<display "randweather">><<set $day = $day + 1>><<set $monsterdistance = $monsterdistance - 1>><<display "STATUS">>\n<<display "MONSTERS">>\n<<display "ACTION">>