flaregun up ahead in emergency case\n\n[[smash the glass|flare]]
//Cut the bullshit out with a dagger, with a dagger, with a dagger.//\n\n<<back>>
you were never one to take the low road\n\nyou leap across the catwalks dodging explosions\n\nwhoever did this is gonna pay\n\n[[fuck yeah|there]]
photographs of [[emasculated men|Vagina Jungle]] taped to one wall\n\nslutwave power gear on the other\n\n[[prepare yourself for the upcoming battle with whatever fuckers|gear]]\n\n
You focus on\n\n[[the shimmering crystals you wear|crystals]]\n\n[[the glitter pulsating in your bloodstream|glitter]]\n
"i just wanna go home i cant handle cosmic warfare wahhhhhhhhhh"\n\nyou turn your glitter-smeared face to the shaking human.\n\n[["You will follow my orders because I know magic"|magic-drive]]
CRY$TAL WARRIOR KE$HA\nby [[porpentine|http://slimedaughter.com]]\n\n<html><IMG SRC="kesha-crystal%20armor.png"></html> \n\n[[begin]]\n\n<<set $w = 0>>
"i just wanna go home i cant handle cosmic warfare wahhhhhhhhhh"\n\nyou turn your glitter-smeared face to the shaking human.\n\n[["You will follow my orders because I know magic"|magic-gun]]
you calibrate the glitter guns and sight down the scope\n\nyou'll need a driver though. Vagina Jungle don't drive itself.\n\nyou spot a shivering boy escaped from the concert, sparkle-smeared shirt torn up and bloody\n\n[["YOU WILL BE MY DRIVER"|boy2]]
I WILL TAKE YOUR WORDS AND TWIST THEM BEHIND YOUR BACK\n\n[["You don't know me. Tell me then, how is your hatred anything more than hatred of yourself?"|hater2]]\n
the shards of your shattered armor leap up and reform\n\nregenerated you resist the incoming energy\n\n[[nice]]
YOUR MUSIC IS SCIENTIFICALLY TERRIBLE\n\nYOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF\n\n[["I pity your attempts to justify your insecurity with analysis. It is false analysis with no substance."|hater3]]\n
the alpha hater is melting\n\nat this point its words are just incoherent howling\n\nraw, burning hatred, like you're teetering on the rim of a volcano\n\n[["If you don't like my song, then turn off the radio. Take it or leave it, love me or hate me. I'm not going anywhere."|hater4]]
You form an energy critter of spirit glitter\n\nshimmering blue\n\nthe critter absorbs the blast\n\nturns purple with violence absorbed\n\ndisintegrates\n\n[["Thank you critter"|nice]]\n
crystal [[dagger]]?\n\n[[mmmhm|and more gear]]
the shitty lense flare on top of the mountain dims until you can see a fucked-up form inside it\n\nI AM THE ALPHA HATER\n\non this desolate mountaintop there are no fans to bolster your energy\n\n[[i've always been my biggest fan. it was my taste that brought me to this point. i trust myself.|hater]]\n\n[[people come and go. the only constant is us. we are the guardian of our own self.|hater]]\n\n\n
<html><IMG SRC="kesha-2.jpg"></html>
the dry grass is on fire\n\na toxic purple light\n\n<html><IMG SRC="kesha-grass.png"></html> \n\nbursts of energy slam into Vagina Jungle's grimesynth shields\n\nyour crystal cannons shoot incoming projectiles down\n\ndriving into the smoking, oversaturated heart of cosmic chaos\n\n[[FASTER FASTER]]
you unleash [[lasers]] from every inch of your bod\n\nthe hater is destroyed\n\nand who remains\n\nspattered in blood and beauty\n\n[[Ke$ha|end]]\n
//Go be cynical ??? I???m having a good time. Like, who would you rather hang out with? That cynical dude or, like, me with my laser beams?//\n\n<<back>>
//A friend of mine has a big farm in the desert, and she picks up feathers and roadkill for me, then makes it into clothes. I think it's cool to wear roadkill. If I died and somebody wanted to wear my teeth around their neck to VMAs, I'd feel honored.//\n\n<<back>>
//Lately, I've been wearing a person's middle-finger bone around my neck. It's kind of a middle finger to anyone who wants to hate. I'm not sure whose finger it was, but I hope they were cool.//\n\n<<back>>
Vagina Jungle spins down the road spraying up dirt\n\nmassive energy signature in the purple mountains in the distance\n\n<html><IMG SRC="kesha-mountains.jpg"></html>\n\n[[FASTER]]
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you have to get to the flare. you always keep a flaregun in case concerts go wrong and you need a quick exit. never had to use one before.\n\ndark maze of amps, broken bottles, road cases\n\n[[go low with the flow|flow]]\n\n[[ride high with disaster|disaster]]
<<if $w lte 3>>[[drop lyrical genius|warrior]]<<endif>>\n\n<<if $w gte 1>>//We were born to break the doors down, fighting till the end.//<<endif>>\n\n<<if $w gte 2>>//It's something that's inside of us.//<<endif>>\n\n<<if $w gte 3>>//It's how we've always been.\n\nYeah.//<<endif>>\n\n<<if $w gte 4>>\nbright light incoming but you didn't rehearse anything like that\n\n[[huh]]<<endif>>\n\n<<set $w = $w + 1>>\n
the greatest night of your life\n\ncouldn't find your toothbrush, took a swig of jack daniels \n\nhit the road with your animals\n\nthe crowd is jumping up n down\n\na sea of glitter and flesh\n\nthe beat is building\n\n[[lift the mic|warrior]]\n<<fadeinsound "warrior.mp3" >>
suddenly lifted\n\nparalyzed\n\nyour glitter is disintegrating\n\nyour day-glo facepaint is melting\n\nyour crystals are deharmonizing\n\nyour roadkill demicloak is torn\n\nyour middle finger talisman splinters\n\nyour crystal dagger falls into some grass, damn\n\n[[what fucker has this power|what]]
[[roadkill]] cloak?\n\n[[yeah|more gear]]
searing pain\n\nblinding radiance\n\nexplosion\n\non your back, on the floor\n\nblood and glitter and burnt flesh\n\n[[urgh]]
[[middle finger|finger]] talisman?\n\n[[hell yeah]]
you tear down the road\n\nbut no sense heading to a cosmic death zone without someone to handle the Vagina Jungle's formidable glitter cannons\n\nyou spot a shivering boy escaped from the concert, sparkle-smeared shirt torn up and bloody\n\n[["YOU WILL BE MY GUNNER"|boy1]]
at the peak of the mountain the heat is fierce\n\nyou get out and \n\nhaters cohere from the aether\n\npaparazzi eidolons, music critic manes, spirit constructs of slutshaming dudes afraid of your raw sexuality\n\n[[drain your boyslave's virile energy to fuel your slutwave mantis transformation|drain]]\n\n[[spray glitter from every orifice|spray]]
he gets inside and the Vagina Jungle swiftly sucks his body inside the gunner pod\n\nyour machinery acclimates his body to the expression of power violence\n\nhe will serve\n\n[[LET'S GO]]
[[glitter|glit]] sprays from every orifice in your body\n\nthe sparkling psychic shrapnel eviscerates your enemies\n\n[[GLITTER HOWL|victory]]
your elite bodyguards/back-up dancers are undone.\n\nit wasn't just an energy attack. whoever did this had chrono magic.\n\nthe time bomb didn't kill them. it scattered them to distant lonely worlds of time, temporal backwaters. they could be the kid you meet on the street, the old woman hobbling through her garden\n\nbut one thing's for sure\n\nthey aren't in fighting condition.\n\nthey aren't ready for cosmic resistance.\n\n[[focus your power]]
//I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body. It's really a big part of what I do. It's my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the fuck over.//\n\n<<back>>
crystals litter the floor. direct hit to your shard armor.\n\nit is against the pact to conduct warfare during concerts\n\nno ordinary hater did this\n\n[[Pluck shards from your face]]
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SLASH SHWING STAB TEAR GUT EVISCARATE\n\nthey scream as you send them back to LA\n\n[[MANTIS VICTORY SCREAM|victory]]
you tear apart his flimsy American Apparel and drain his boy energy\n\nhe turns into a photograph on your wall\n\nYOU ARE A HUGE PSYCHIC SLUTWAVE [[MANTIS]] WITH DAY-GLO POWER SCYTHES\n\n[[annihilate the haters|mantis-haters]]
he gets inside and slides his drivers license inside the console to make sure he's old enough to drive because you care about kid's safety and make sure all your machinery reflects that\n\nhe's a pretty good driver thanks to your ambient glitter filling him with basic wisdom\n\n[[LET'S GO]]
you pull the trigger\n\nthe flare spirals high in the sky\n\nbursts\n\nhelp is coming.\n\n[[re-apply glitter to every inch of your body from emergency vial|jungle]]\n\n[[excrete mascara through eyeballs as defense against high-flying LA curses|jungle]]\n\n[[secrete day-glo facepaint through pores and form perfect power mask|jungle]]
you catch your way in flashes of sparks drizzling from ceiling lighting\n\njungle of cables, don't trip\n\ncome on Ke$ha\n\n[[you got this|there]]
//I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It's like a hobby. I'm like a praying mantis. They fuck me, and then I eat them.//\n\n<<back>>
you head outside and stare into the night\n\nyou hear wheels and bad-ass engine sounds\n\nthe Vagina Jungle skids to a stop and the doors pop open in a blast of glitter.\n\n[[whirl inside]]
roadkill demi-cloak, crystal dagger, middle finger talisman, crystal armor\n\neverything is humming\n\n[[leap into the driver's seat|driver]]\n\n[[take control of gunnery systems|gunnery]]
//Whenever a man came onto my bus, he had to drop trou, and I took a Polaroid of him, just to emasculate him and make sure he knew he was in the vagina jungle. That???s what I call my bus.//\n\n<<back>>
I WILL TURN ALL YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND BRIGHTEST MOMENTS TO ASH\n\n<html><IMG SRC="kesha-1.jpg"></html> \n\n[["I pity your cursed mouth that can speak only negs, when mouths were made for eating and laughing and make-outs"|hater1]]
your fans are all turned into snakes and fucking up shit\n\nchaotic energy attack, probably off-world tech\n\n<html><IMG class="x" SRC="kesha-blood.jpg"></html>\n\n[[where the fuck are the bodyguards]]