hacker

THERE ARE NO FUCKING JOBS\n\n[[TURN TO LIFE OF CRIME|CRIME]]

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VOMIT BLASTS FROM YOUR MOUTH AS YOUR BODY ABSORBS REEKING DEATH GAS\n\n[[ARGH]]

<<screenShake 0>>THE FACTORY IS SELF-DESTRUCTING\n\nYOU WILL DIE WITH YOUR ILL-GOTTEN CUPCAKE SECRETS\n\nUNLESS\n\n[[PANIC AND THROW YOUR BODY INTO A WINDOW|THROW]]

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER CUP OF MEGABYTES HA HA WOULDNT YOU SAY\n\n[[EXAMINE HACKER JOB NETWORK FOR RESPECTABLE HACKING JOBS|JOBS]]

YOU HACK INTO A TOASTER OR SOMETHING AND FIGURE OUT WHERE ALL THE SHIT IS\n\nWHERE CRIMES CAN <<replace "HAPPEN">>HAPPEN\n\n-----------------\n\n[[CUPCAKE FACTORY]]\n\nLOOKS LIKE A GOOD CHOICE\n\n-----------------<<endreplace>>

SHIT\n\nWHAT IF THIS IS THE LINK THAT <<replace "KILLS YOU">>KILLS YOU\n\n<<replace "OH GOD">>OH GOD\n\nJUST KIDDING YOUR LUNGS HAVE CYBORG FILTRATION IMPLANTS\n\nOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT\n\n[[OH OKAY]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>

//HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE//\nBY PORPENTINE\n\n[[BEGIN GAME EXPERIENCE|DREAM]]\n\n<<set $eyes = "">>\n<<set $cakehack = 0>>

<<set $eyes = "PITCH BLACK">>\nPITCH BLACK LIKE SOME UNDEAD VAMPIRE HACKER BABE\n\n[[YES]]

YOU SINK DEEPER INTO THE HOT TUB\n\nrelaxed enough for lower case\n\nheartbeat barely above ellipses...\n\n...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]\n\n...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]...[[.]]

YOU ARE FALLING REALLY FAST\n\nTHIS IS SCARY\n\nTHE WIND WHIPS YOUR FACE BLABLABLA\n\n[[I USE MY CYBER-RETINAS TO CONTROL A SYNTHETIC BIRD BY HACKING ITS EYES|BIRD]]

CUPCAKE IS PROTECTED BY FIREWALL\n\n[[FUCK|CUPCAKE]]

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NAH THE HOT TUB SOUNDS NICER\n\nAHHHH\n\nTHIS IS SO EXCITING\n\n[[!!!!!!]]

AT HOME YOU LOG ONTO THE COMPUTER INTERNET AND IMMEDIATELY SELL THE CUPCAKE DNA WITH NO PROBLEMS\n\nMYSTERIOUS FIGURES ASSURE YOU THE DATA WILL NOT BE USED FOR EVIL\n\n[[NOW WHAT?|WHAT]]

<<set $eyes = "BLOOD RED">>\nYOUR EYES FLASH BLOOD RED LIKE A TOTAL BADASS CYBER DEMON\n\n[[YES]]

YOU ARRIVE AT THE MOST LUXURIOUS COOLEST MOST AMAZING SPA IN TOWN\n\nWITH ALL THE LATEST TECH\n\nAND ENTER YOUR OWN PRIVATE, LOW-LIT, CUSTOMIZABLE [[HOT TUB|SLIP]]

[[CYBORG]]\n\n[[PLANT]]\n\n[[CRYSTAL]]

OK LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS\n\nFIRST OFF WHAT KIND OF HACKER ARE YOU\n\n[[LET ME TELL YOU|KIND]]

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<<set $eyes = "WEIRD PURPLE">>\nMYSTERIOUS. YOU'RE PROBABLY SOME KIND OF CYBER WITCH\n\n[[YES]]

YOU LEAP THROUGH THE WINDOW\n\nGLASS SHARDS EXPLODE IN FRONT OF YOU LIKE A [[CLOUD OF CRYSTALS|CLOUD]]

TIME TO HIT THE [[SAUNA]]

[[good job hacker]]

NERVOUSLY YOU WATCH YOUR BANK ACCOUNT\n\nHOPEFULLY THOSE SHADY SCIENTISTS IN NEO ATLANTIS SEND YOU THE MONEY\n\n-----------------\n\nCHECKING ACCOUNT: <<replace "$0">><<replace "$0">><<replace "$0">><<replace "$0">>[[$100000000000000|CASH]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>\n\n-----------------

[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n[[A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.|EXPERIENCE]]\n

THE SECURITY ROBOTS SCREAM IN ELECTRONIC RAGE\n\nLASERS SPEW FROM EVERY INCH OF THEIR IMPROBABLY WEAPONIZED BODIES\n\n[[HACK THEM WITH YOUR BULLETS|BULLETS]]

YOU TURN YOUR GAZE ON A NEARBY <<replace "BIRD">>POLLUTION KILLED ALL THE BIRDS :( SO THE GOVERNMENT INVENTED FAKE BIRDS TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BETTER<<endreplace>>\n\nYOUR <<print $eyes>> EYES PIERCE INTO THE AUTOMATED AVIAN'S MECHANICAL MIND, HACKING THE RETINA AND OVERRIDING THE [[WIFI CONTROLS]]

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THE CUPCAKE FLASHES RED. NO ACCESS. \n\n<<replace "INSERT USB INTO KILOBYTE">><<if $cakehack gte 2>>THE CUPCAKE HAS BEEN [[HACKED]]<<else>>ERROR<<endif>><<set $cakehack += 1>><<endreplace>>\n\n<<replace "DOWNLOAD THE UPLOAD">><<if $cakehack gte 2>>THE CUPCAKE HAS BEEN [[HACKED]]<<else>>ERROR<<endif>><<set $cakehack += 1>><<endreplace>>\n\n<<replace "MAKE OUT WITH AUDIO PORT">><<if $cakehack gte 2>>THE CUPCAKE HAS BEEN [[HACKED]]<<else>>ERROR<<endif>><<set $cakehack += 1>><<endreplace>>

<<if $s1 eq "CHIMES">>PRETTY CHIMES TURN YOUR MIND SILVERY DELICATE<<endif>><<if $s1 eq "DRONE">><<endif>><<if $s1 eq "SILENCE">>JUST THE SOUND OF POURING WATER AND BUBBLING VENTS<<endif>>\n\n<<if $s2 eq "HOLOGRAPHIC WINE">>YOU SIP HOLOGRAPHIC WINE\n\nSWIRL A MOUTHFUL OF LIGHT\n\nTHESE PHOTONS ARE DELICIOUS<<endif>><<if $s2 eq "NANO-DYED PRISM WATER">>\nTHE WATER SOFTLY CYCLES COLORS\n\nYOUR REFRACTED LEGS RIPPLE THROUGH THE SPECTRUM<<endif>>\n\n<<if $s3 eq "CUTE LITTLE OCTOPY">>CUTE OCTOPY CLIMBS UP ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND HAPPILY SLAPS YOUR FACE WITH TENTACLES\n\nSOMEHOW YOU DON'T MIND<<endif>><<if $s3 eq "THERAPEUTIC FISH">>THERAPEUTIC FISH TALKS ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS\n\nYOU NOD\n\nTHIS IS GOOD ADVICE<<endif>><<if $s3 eq "HUGGABLE MANTA RAY">>THE MANTA RAY SLOWLY, SOLEMNLY HUGS YOUR ENTIRE BODY\n\nITS LIKE A BIG GREY PANCAKE FLOPPING OVER YOU\n\nYOU FEEL LOVED<<endif>><<if $s3 eq "FOOT-MASSAGING SEA ANEMONE">>SEA ANEMONE TINGLE AS THEY MASSAGE YOUR FEET\n\nPROBABLY SOME KIND OF VENOM BUT WHO CARES<<endif>>\n\n[[AHHHHH|SINK]]\n\n

I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME\n\n[[BADASS RETINAL IMPLANTS|RETINAL]]

YOU GRAB THE BIRD'S LEGS AND MAKE IT FLY YOU TO A NEARBY BUS STOP\n\nYOU GET ON THE BUS\n\nTHE BUS IS CROWDED BUT YOU LIKE BEING CLOSE TO PEOPLE AFTER THAT HARROWING ENCOUNTER\n\n[[HEAD HOME]]

YOU SPIT OUT A WAD OF TOXIC PHLEGM AND WIPE YOUR LIPS\n\nTIME TO HEAD [[BACK]]

BEEP BOOP\n\nEXPOSED CIRCUITRY\n\nSLEEK CHROME CYBERSKIN\n\n[[WAIT NEVERMIND|KIND]]\n\n[[LOOKS GOOD|EYES]]

OH YEAH\n\nYOU [[DESERVE]]\n\n

<<screenShake 0>>[[FUCK]]

SKIN ENCRUSTED WITH CRYSTALS\n\nTORSO TRANSLUCENT AND PULSATING WITH DATALIGHT\n\n[[WAIT NEVERMIND|KIND]]\n\n[[LOOKS GOOD|EYES]]

HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE

YOU DIP YOUR FEET IN, ADJUSTING TO THE HEAT,\n\nAND CHECK OUT THE DIALS\n\n<<cyclinglink $s1 "CHIMES" "SILENCE">>\n\n<<cyclinglink $s2 "HOLOGRAPHIC WINE" "NANO-DYED PRISM WATER">>\n\n<<cyclinglink $s3 "CUTE LITTLE OCTOPY" "THERAPEUTIC FISH" "HUGGABLE MANTA RAY" "FOOT-MASSAGING SEA ANEMONE">>\n\n[[PERFECT]]

<<set $eyes = "MILK WHITE">>\nEYES WITHOUT PUPILS\n\nTO SCARE YOUR ENEMIES\n\n[[YES]]

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YOU ARE A POOR HACKER DOWN ON HER LUCK IN A HARD CITY.\n\nYOU LIVE IN A RUN-DOWN APARTMENT ABOVE A <<replace "REPTILE STORE.">>REPTILE STORE.\n\nTHE IRONY IS THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD REPTILES, DESPITE YOUR PROXIMITY TO A REASONABLY PRICED REPTILE SOURCE.\n\n[[SHIT]]<<endreplace>>

EVER SINCE YOU CAN REMEMBER\n\nYOU'VE BEEN DREAMING OF A HIGH END CUSTOMIZABLE SAUNA EXPERIENCE.\n\nBUT YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT.\n\n[[WEEP]]\n\n

<<set $eyes = "NEON PINK">>WOW STYLISH\n\nI'M SUPER IMPRESSED~\n\n[[YES]]

DATAVINES ENCIRCLE YOUR BODY\n\nFLOWERS BLOSSOM FROM YOUR ABDOMINAL HARD DRIVE\n\nEACH LEAF CONTAINS TERABYTES\n\n[[WAIT NEVERMIND|KIND]]\n\n[[LOOKS GOOD|EYES]]

YOU CALL THE SPA AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR <<replace "TOMORROW">><<replace "FUCK THAT">>[[TONIGHT]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>

TARGETING SYSTEM HAS ACQUIRED CUPCAKE\n\n[[EAT CUPCAKE]]\n\n[[HACK CUPCAKE]]

EVERY HACKER KNOWS THE GREATEST OPERATING SYSTEM EVER INVENTED\n\nIS THE GUN\n\n<<replace "*EXPLOSION SOUNDS*">>MANGLED ROBOT BODIES STREW THE AREA\n\nYOU FEEL EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED\n\nTIME TO HEAD [[BACK]]\n<<endreplace>>\n

THE CITYSCAPE SPRAWLS FAR BELOW\n\nFREEWAYS COURSE WITH CARS LIKE GLOWING CIRCUITRY\n\n[[FALL]]

YOU SIPHON PRECIOUS DNA FROM THE CUPCAKE'S FROSTY INNARDS\n\nSCIENTISTS IN NEO ATLANTIS WILL PAY A HIGH PRICE TO RECREATE THESE CUPCAKES\n\nI GUESS THESE ARE REALLY GREAT CUPCAKES OR SOMETHING\n\nANYWAYS\n\n[[SECURITY ROBOTS BURST INTO THE ROOM TO FUCK YOU UP|SECURITY]]\n\n[[THE CUPCAKE HAD ONE FINAL SECURITY PROTOCOL: BRAIN-MELTING DEATH GAS|DEATH GAS]]

<<set $eyes = "ENVY GREEN">>\nWHOA GREEN HOW SULTRY WHAT WOW LOOKING GOOD\n\n[[YES]]

OKAY THANK YOU\n\n[[GET OUT OF BED|BED]]

YOU CLIMB UP THE SIDE OF THE MASSIVE DYSTOPIAN CUPCAKE FACTORY\n\nAND ENTER THROUGH <<cyclinglink $enter "A FROSTING-SCENTED AIRDUCT" "A SLUDGY SEWER" "A SHIPMENT OF SPRINKLES">>\n\nYOU COME TO A ROOM WITH A SINGLE STATE 0F THE ART CUPCAKE ON A CYBER PEDESTAL\n\n<<replace "NAVIGATE LASER TRAPS">><<replace "AVOID HOVERDRONES">><<replace "LEAP ACROSS BOTTOMLESS PIT">>THE [[CUPCAKE]] IS AT YOUR FINGERTIPS<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>