I grew up thinking people like me are bad.
But the way society is set up.
There’s no way to be close to people.
I was terrified the first time.
Thought I was going to throw up.
It’s about getting in the right mental place.
Letting it build up.
Late at night.
Drugs help. But they can impair your judgment. You don’t want to lose track of time. Peripheral vision. Or you start to psyche yourself out. A little alcohol is fine for confidence. Too much and you fuck yourself over. Can’t get hard. Can’t keep track of time. Weed is out. Stimulants are better.